[4000 years of experience with dealing with Yuan's temper is about to come in super handy for ya dad...
After Lloyd picks the knife up, Kratos reaches over to give him a hair ruffle.]
It's fine, its not like you don't have good reasons to be angry. I am a bit concerned, though... Do those flames tend to just happen whenever you're 'worked up', as you put it? Or is it more of a random occurrence?
[His expression eases slightly, head tilting with the fingers in his hair. Kawaii.]
...I don't really know. [He hasn't really had time to think about it. Still, after cleaning the knife, he'll set it down.]
When we were fighting that huge snake, Viper was yelling about some kind of 'power' I needed to use against it, from the relic. And-- it happened a lot then. But I was also fighting, and in the incense...
[Huh. He'll stare fixatedly down at his hand. Is this linked to emotion? Is it not? How the fuck does he even do it. Maybe like an arte? He frowns, as if trying to will some flames to appear, if only to test it out. His hand tenses, he closes his fist, flexes it, extends it. And thankfully for Kratos's mana supply, he does not in fact light his hand on fire!
But that's because he has no idea how to control or modulate any of it, so the next blast of flames is off to the side. Just a quickly erupting ball of fuckin' FIRE, leaving a sooty, smokey mark against the far wall, and searing that raw chicken.]
-Woah! [YIKES here's hoping that didn't take off anyone's eyebrows. And if it did, maybe Kratos can just do that weird metabolism control and grow them right back out.]
Nah Kratos's eyebrows are fine, but it looks like the wall is a little fucked. The chicken is still usable and that's what matters. As for the rest of Kratos, he barely reacts with any sort of surprise when a bigass fuckoff fireball erupts in the middle of his house. Since Lloyd is okay and nothing stays on fire, he doesn't really feel any sense of urgency, so maybe it looks like he's a little too calm about this? It's fine, he actually learned all that he needed to from this very brief event.]
...That'll be awkward to explain to Sophia.
[oh yeah she's still staying here huh...]
Well, in any case, it seems like you can control it to an extent... A very limited extent. If we're unable to rid you if this inconvenience, then it may be possible to learn how to fully control it. When I first started learning magic, it was similarly unpredictable, so maybe it's possible...
[HMMMM maybe he can teach Lloyd some really cool things to do with fire???]
[Thank you for being completely unfazed by huge idiot displays of magic. Kratos's calm helps him feel a bit better about it, really-- as well as the fact that he doesn't have massively blistered palms after that one. Huge improvement.]
Can't be more awkward than the rest of everything, at least? [Silver linings!] I mean, she took the 'ancient evolved human' thing pretty well, seems like.
[Because you DID explain the ancient angel thing. Right Kratos??? Right?????
But oh man. Magic??? Lessons??? Bad mood is forgotten, thank god Lloyd has the shortest attention span in the world.]
Wait, really? That would be great! Man, Genis is gonna be so mad. [Lloyd says this with absolute joy. Look, teens and kids love one-upping their friends.] I mean, I know I'd never be as good as him, but even just a little would be cool.
Ah.... okay. Then yeah, maybe a bit awkward then...
[smfh, Kratos. But if Sophia didn't ask for WHY he can fly, then, uh. Maybe she doesn't care? Well, whatever. If it comes up, it comes up. He knows Kratos was still feeling weird about being open about who he is, so it's. Probably fine?? For low stakes things like this??]
Right! Outside makes... way more sense. [His eyes follow Kratos's to track onto the big smokey charred bit. Uh.]
Yeah, and living here people have to get used to weirder things than this. [ANOTHER FROWN AT THAT BIG SCORCH MARK.] As cool as it'll be once I figure it out, this is more annoying than weird..
[But really, character???]
Wh- no, it just looks like you forgot something on the stove for like two hours. [Ugh his face is red WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LEAVE HIS FUCKUP ON THE WALL its worse than dirk keeping all his old shitty carvings from when he was a kid around ugh ugh.]
[look Kratos finds this fuckup very pleasing for some weird dad reason. He doesn't get to have any of Lloyd's shitty old carvings to put on display in his house, so this is the next best thing. Well, this and the bookcase, but this will be more fun to explain.]
Heh, maybe you're right. I don't mind it, though. We should get you some practice with that soon, but I'm sure you've got a lot to catch up on first.
[y'know like that dumb ginger you almost killed the other day.]
[You're absolutely keeping it, aren't you. He's going to have to look at this every time he comes and visits. He just... sighs. FINE. He'll deal.]
Yeah... guess I gotta figure out what all I missed this past week-- and where everyone is.
[He should. Uh. Finish chopping those vegetables. He's still super hungry. Time to just awkwardly return to that, after having fire festival in the kitchen.]
I guess people probably went to Coba, since it's closest... Maybe Law and Zelos--
[Ah, shit. At least he doesn't drop the knife this time?? But he still whirls back around, eyes wide.]
I-- [WAIT HE DEFINITELY STABBED THE FUCK OUT OF ZELOS?? THATS A CLEAR MEMORY.]
[Kratos, being the chillass angel that he is, doesnt even look up from his meal prep while Lloyd has a small panic. THIS IS HOW FINE EVERYTHING IS... lol nothing is ever fine but it's fine.]
Zelos is fine. I saw to his healing myself, and Law escorted him to safety. Law was... a dog? That's probably nothing to worry about. He should be back to normal by now, if that was caused by the incense.
[Kratos... Kratos plz.
He finally looks up from his food making, his expression a touch more gentle than usual. He knows this is rough, buddy. Try to stay chill so you don't burn down my kitchen.]
You should contact him, but maybe not right this second. Give yourself a chance to gather your thoughts and calm down a bit.
[do you have any idea how hard it is to tell you too call the guy that roped you into gay chicken]
[Kratosz you are so good at projecting chill. Lloyd isn't sure if it's actual chill or if it's fake chill, but it's appreciated nonetheless. He still looks INTENSELY TROUBLED.... but he also trusts Kratos when he says that Zelos is okay. His lips press together in thought, but then he'll give a slow nod.]
Ah.... yeah. Okay. [still gonna call him all worked up later but at least he's keeping his own chill for the moment. The complete lack of concern Kratos has helps. Assuming it's because there's nothing to worry about, rather than just hating Zelos.]
Thanks. For healing him, I mean. So I guess you know...
['I tried real hard to kill him' is hard to say so he just lets that trail off.]
[hey, Zelos is the one with the hate boner for Kratos. Kratos just thinks Lloyd can do SO MUCH BETTER than that ginger fuck ok.
Kratos shakes his head a bit, as if to say 'its fiiiiiine' and goes back to doing things with chicken.]
By the sounds of it, it seems as though you weren't fully in control of your actions thanks to the incense. I witnessed several people in a similar state, so... I don't think that you were at fault, at least not completely. You'll have to sort it out with him, of course.
...Yeah. Incense or not, it still happened. I'll check in on him and see how he's doing. Or-- what he wants. [Intentions only matter so far, after all. Another hard lesson he'd been learning during their journey. And if it's easier for Zelos to avoid him... well. He gets it. Might not agree or have done the same, but he gets it. Maybe this time, as he turns back to the counter, he can actually finish this stupid lunch prep.]
I'm glad he made it. I-- went pretty hard on him, I think.
[His nose scrunches slightly in thought, clearly not really enjoying is. Who would, though? Trying to recall exactly what was going through their mind when they tried to absolutely murder one of their closest friends.
When he speaks, it's a bit more carefully.]
It's... It started before then. Once I touched that relic, some voice in it just wouldn't stop talking to me. And kinda like that cat before in the temple, it was like it knew me. Knew just what to focus on to kind of-- get me against people.
[Those shoulders are rising up, his cheeks heating slightly, but it's more from being embarrassed by, you know, the deep seating feelings that he doesn't like to acknowledge. But hey, Kratos's weird shadowy-self had spouted all his secrets, so. Lloyd may as well pay him back in turn.]
Like... that I couldn't trust him. That he only needed me, didn't-- you know. Actually care. And I... [Ugh... he's quiet for a moment, as though really trying to get the words to form. But finally, he'll just bite the words out. Better to just say them and be done.]
That I could never really let myself see it, 'cause-- being used and needed means at least you aren't alone.
[Once again, Kratos is completely distracted from his meal prep (will lloyd ever get lunch!????), and he gives Lloyd his full attention.
"Being used and needed means at least you aren't alone". Fuck. That's absolutely heartbreaking.]
Oh, Lloyd...
[That's uncomfortably close to how Kratos's relationship with Mithos had felt, especially after he had lost his entire family. Knowing that someone is only keeping you around because you serve some kind of purpose is soul crushing, knowing that Lloyd has felt the same way for any reason is so much worse. He's kicking himself for not being there for Lloyd at the time, but if the relic was capable of all that, odds are it would have turned Lloyd on Kratos even easier than had turned him on Zelos.
Everything is fucked. He would like very much to just hug his boy right now, but he's kind of got a knife and he's chorping veg... maybe in a minute.]
I'm so sorry. I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but you know that the relic was lying to you. Zelos and I may not see eye to eye on... most things, but I know that he cares a great deal for you. ...To be honest, your happiness and wellbeing are probably the only things we can agree on at all.
[no the aPOLOGY MAKES IT WORSE?? His face is reddening more, and he shakes his head.]
I-- I know! I don't really think any of that stuff. And I know you guys are-- You know, all that stuff from back home, it's not the case here. And like... even if it was, I have plenty of people, and--
[God he feels like a stupid nerd, babbling trying to justify how this dumb insecurity got used against him so badly.
but yeah he's never gonna get lunch tbh.]
Ugh, it's so embarrassing... I hope Zelos knows that none of all that's true, too. I know he's kind of got some kinda-- complex about not being the same Zelos I knew back home.
[HE'S SORRY LLOYD HE'S NOT GOOD AT BEING DAD???? He's trying ok. Now he feels bad for ...upsetting?? Lloyd even more. He's so bad at basic communication omg.
Lloyd will get to eat though, Kratos will go back to working on the food while they chat.]
That does make things a bit complicated... I think he's aware that none of that is what you really think, though. He said that he thought the relic was influencing you.
[The words 'he said' is enough to have him relax slightly. If he managed to say anything, than he was in better shape than Lloyd had feared. It least it implied he was conscious.]
Even if he knows something, he's kind of an ass about letting himself actually believe it, though.
[Ugh. Okay. He'll call Zelos after lunch. Might as well just deal with that head-on. Look at that, he has finally finished cutting his two fucking vegetables or whatever it is. Amazing. Gold star.]
I guess the best I can do is just... explain it. And respect however he feels about it.
[we suck at making lunch it's fine. Kratos comes over to take the chopped vegetables and does whatever he's going to do with them. Maybe it's some kind of pot pie situation. Who knows.]
That's about the only thing you can do, but I have a feeling that he's going to be understanding.
...I'mma gonna take that to mean "he's gonna hold this over me for a while." He did that about Law giving him that scar, too.
[Which, honestly, is more Zelos Deflection. Make it all fun and games so you don't have to dwell on the hurt of it. Not the worst coping habit, but one that Lloyd finds himself worrying about, trying to parse through what he can actually believe.]
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After Lloyd picks the knife up, Kratos reaches over to give him a hair ruffle.]
It's fine, its not like you don't have good reasons to be angry. I am a bit concerned, though... Do those flames tend to just happen whenever you're 'worked up', as you put it? Or is it more of a random occurrence?
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...I don't really know. [He hasn't really had time to think about it. Still, after cleaning the knife, he'll set it down.]
When we were fighting that huge snake, Viper was yelling about some kind of 'power' I needed to use against it, from the relic. And-- it happened a lot then. But I was also fighting, and in the incense...
[Huh. He'll stare fixatedly down at his hand. Is this linked to emotion? Is it not? How the fuck does he even do it. Maybe like an arte? He frowns, as if trying to will some flames to appear, if only to test it out. His hand tenses, he closes his fist, flexes it, extends it. And thankfully for Kratos's mana supply, he does not in fact light his hand on fire!
But that's because he has no idea how to control or modulate any of it, so the next blast of flames is off to the side. Just a quickly erupting ball of fuckin' FIRE, leaving a sooty, smokey mark against the far wall, and searing that raw chicken.]
-Woah! [YIKES here's hoping that didn't take off anyone's eyebrows. And if it did, maybe Kratos can just do that weird metabolism control and grow them right back out.]
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Nah Kratos's eyebrows are fine, but it looks like the wall is a little fucked. The chicken is still usable and that's what matters. As for the rest of Kratos, he barely reacts with any sort of surprise when a bigass fuckoff fireball erupts in the middle of his house. Since Lloyd is okay and nothing stays on fire, he doesn't really feel any sense of urgency, so maybe it looks like he's a little too calm about this? It's fine, he actually learned all that he needed to from this very brief event.]
...That'll be awkward to explain to Sophia.
[oh yeah she's still staying here huh...]
Well, in any case, it seems like you can control it to an extent... A very limited extent. If we're unable to rid you if this inconvenience, then it may be possible to learn how to fully control it. When I first started learning magic, it was similarly unpredictable, so maybe it's possible...
[HMMMM maybe he can teach Lloyd some really cool things to do with fire???]
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Can't be more awkward than the rest of everything, at least? [Silver linings!] I mean, she took the 'ancient evolved human' thing pretty well, seems like.
[Because you DID explain the ancient angel thing. Right Kratos??? Right?????
But oh man. Magic??? Lessons??? Bad mood is forgotten, thank god Lloyd has the shortest attention span in the world.]
Wait, really? That would be great! Man, Genis is gonna be so mad. [Lloyd says this with absolute joy. Look, teens and kids love one-upping their friends.] I mean, I know I'd never be as good as him, but even just a little would be cool.
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No rly Kratos seems absolutely flummoxed for a moment THAT REALLY CAUGHT HIM OFF GUARD LLOYD.]
I-- oh, um... That hasnt actually come up in our conversations yet...
[but it might! Some day!]
Anyway. Yes, I think it might be possible. We'll just practice outside from now on.
[a glance at his poor wall. Sigh sigh its fine.]
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[smfh, Kratos. But if Sophia didn't ask for WHY he can fly, then, uh. Maybe she doesn't care? Well, whatever. If it comes up, it comes up. He knows Kratos was still feeling weird about being open about who he is, so it's. Probably fine?? For low stakes things like this??]
Right! Outside makes... way more sense. [His eyes follow Kratos's to track onto the big smokey charred bit. Uh.]
....I'll paint over that.
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[yeah its fine its TOTALLY FINE. If it ever comes up he'll be happy to tell her about it. Maybe not all the little horrible details, but y'know.
He gives lloyd a shrug and goes back to casually preparing this food like nothing ever happened.]
No worries. I think it adds a little character, don't you?
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[But really, character???]
Wh- no, it just looks like you forgot something on the stove for like two hours. [Ugh his face is red WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LEAVE HIS FUCKUP ON THE WALL its worse than dirk keeping all his old shitty carvings from when he was a kid around ugh ugh.]
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Heh, maybe you're right. I don't mind it, though. We should get you some practice with that soon, but I'm sure you've got a lot to catch up on first.
[y'know like that dumb ginger you almost killed the other day.]
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Yeah... guess I gotta figure out what all I missed this past week-- and where everyone is.
[He should. Uh. Finish chopping those vegetables. He's still super hungry. Time to just awkwardly return to that, after having fire festival in the kitchen.]
I guess people probably went to Coba, since it's closest... Maybe Law and Zelos--
[Ah, shit. At least he doesn't drop the knife this time?? But he still whirls back around, eyes wide.]
I-- [WAIT HE DEFINITELY STABBED THE FUCK OUT OF ZELOS?? THATS A CLEAR MEMORY.]
Wait, is Zelos alive??
[DID HE DIE, DOES HE HATE HIM. THIS IS IMPORTANT]
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Zelos is fine. I saw to his healing myself, and Law escorted him to safety. Law was... a dog? That's probably nothing to worry about. He should be back to normal by now, if that was caused by the incense.
[Kratos... Kratos plz.
He finally looks up from his food making, his expression a touch more gentle than usual. He knows this is rough, buddy. Try to stay chill so you don't burn down my kitchen.]
You should contact him, but maybe not right this second. Give yourself a chance to gather your thoughts and calm down a bit.
[do you have any idea how hard it is to tell you too call the guy that roped you into gay chicken]
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Ah.... yeah. Okay. [still gonna call him all worked up later but at least he's keeping his own chill for the moment. The complete lack of concern Kratos has helps. Assuming it's because there's nothing to worry about, rather than just hating Zelos.]
Thanks. For healing him, I mean. So I guess you know...
['I tried real hard to kill him' is hard to say so he just lets that trail off.]
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Kratos shakes his head a bit, as if to say 'its fiiiiiine' and goes back to doing things with chicken.]
By the sounds of it, it seems as though you weren't fully in control of your actions thanks to the incense. I witnessed several people in a similar state, so... I don't think that you were at fault, at least not completely. You'll have to sort it out with him, of course.
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I'm glad he made it. I-- went pretty hard on him, I think.
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Do you happen to recall just what it was that set you off?
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When he speaks, it's a bit more carefully.]
It's... It started before then. Once I touched that relic, some voice in it just wouldn't stop talking to me. And kinda like that cat before in the temple, it was like it knew me. Knew just what to focus on to kind of-- get me against people.
[Those shoulders are rising up, his cheeks heating slightly, but it's more from being embarrassed by, you know, the deep seating feelings that he doesn't like to acknowledge. But hey, Kratos's weird shadowy-self had spouted all his secrets, so. Lloyd may as well pay him back in turn.]
Like... that I couldn't trust him. That he only needed me, didn't-- you know. Actually care. And I... [Ugh... he's quiet for a moment, as though really trying to get the words to form. But finally, he'll just bite the words out. Better to just say them and be done.]
That I could never really let myself see it, 'cause-- being used and needed means at least you aren't alone.
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"Being used and needed means at least you aren't alone". Fuck. That's absolutely heartbreaking.]
Oh, Lloyd...
[That's uncomfortably close to how Kratos's relationship with Mithos had felt, especially after he had lost his entire family. Knowing that someone is only keeping you around because you serve some kind of purpose is soul crushing, knowing that Lloyd has felt the same way for any reason is so much worse. He's kicking himself for not being there for Lloyd at the time, but if the relic was capable of all that, odds are it would have turned Lloyd on Kratos even easier than had turned him on Zelos.
Everything is fucked. He would like very much to just hug his boy right now, but he's kind of got a knife and he's chorping veg... maybe in a minute.]
I'm so sorry. I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but you know that the relic was lying to you. Zelos and I may not see eye to eye on... most things, but I know that he cares a great deal for you. ...To be honest, your happiness and wellbeing are probably the only things we can agree on at all.
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I-- I know! I don't really think any of that stuff. And I know you guys are-- You know, all that stuff from back home, it's not the case here. And like... even if it was, I have plenty of people, and--
[God he feels like a stupid nerd, babbling trying to justify how this dumb insecurity got used against him so badly.
but yeah he's never gonna get lunch tbh.]
Ugh, it's so embarrassing... I hope Zelos knows that none of all that's true, too. I know he's kind of got some kinda-- complex about not being the same Zelos I knew back home.
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Lloyd will get to eat though, Kratos will go back to working on the food while they chat.]
That does make things a bit complicated... I think he's aware that none of that is what you really think, though. He said that he thought the relic was influencing you.
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Even if he knows something, he's kind of an ass about letting himself actually believe it, though.
[Ugh. Okay. He'll call Zelos after lunch. Might as well just deal with that head-on. Look at that, he has finally finished cutting his two fucking vegetables or whatever it is. Amazing. Gold star.]
I guess the best I can do is just... explain it. And respect however he feels about it.
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That's about the only thing you can do, but I have a feeling that he's going to be understanding.
...In his own way.
[This is Zelos we're talking about, after all.]
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...I'mma gonna take that to mean "he's gonna hold this over me for a while." He did that about Law giving him that scar, too.
[Which, honestly, is more Zelos Deflection. Make it all fun and games so you don't have to dwell on the hurt of it. Not the worst coping habit, but one that Lloyd finds himself worrying about, trying to parse through what he can actually believe.]
...I'm glad you guys both made it out.
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And sigh... YEAH... yeah zelos.]
That sounds like him. At least with you, he doesn't seem malicious about it.
[Zelos holding things over Kratos's head is a totally different story.]
I'm glad we made it out as well, though I do wish that I hadn't missed everything that you went through.